Porn Live News        
Free Porn Movies | Free Porn Tube | Free Adult Porn | nude tube cams

swallow sex porn

swallow sex porn

    [ 1 ]    
June 01 2012
Posted by massagesex  [ 16:08 ]

Ex Male Porn Star Trent Roe Story

Former male porn star Ryan aka Trent Roe speaks out in this candid interview about how porn destroyed his life. Ryan was active in the porn industry from 1993-1995 and did about 25 hardcore films. He is now on a mission to speak out about the harms of pornography.

SL: How were you first introduced to xvideosporn the porn industry?

RM: New Year’s Eve 1992. Pulled over by porn star Dixie Downs in a BMW and was invited to her house the following week. We hit it off and had sex at her house before her kids came home from school. I thought I was infected when she told me she was a so called “actress” in the porn industry. I freaked and went NUMB. She could see the fear on my face thinking that I had AIDS. I was trippin’.

SL: Why did you want to do porn?

RM: When I met Dixie’s roommate Warren Scott, he convinced me that the testing was clean, safe and that everyone in the business is LOYAL. When I left Illinois, I told a friend I was moving to California to get paid to get laid. It took 7 years of dreaming about that statement to make it happen.

SL: What did you see going on in the porn industry?

RM: A lot of sin and a lot of money making that didn't include the male talent. The average payment for services rendered was $100.00 to $150.00 a scene. All that for the possibility of contracting a deadly disease and infecting others in the process because testing is only every 30 days.

SL: Do you think women enjoy making porn?

RM: No, but they enjoyed the money and the drugs. We had everything we needed. Weed (yep, the gateway drug started it all), coke, speed, of course alcohol.

SL: Did you enjoy making porn?

RM: No, keeping an erection was almost impossible. So many things were going on at once. One minute I would have feelings for the girl and the next I was too high to care. It was a loveless, careless act.

SL: What was your worst experience in porn?

RM: The 1st one was the worst ever. May I quote myself to Warren as we walked on set “Oh My God, are you kidding me, A Granny Gang Bang, your kiddin’ me right? He replied, “If you can just get through this, you’ll get your check and we won’t answer these calls anymore. Don’t think you have to be a star, just get in the money shot.”
How I ever got through that is beyond me. I felt these women were too old to be in porn.

SL: Describe how you were treated in porn.

RM: Nobody cared! I went to the next shoot and it went on from there. The men were actually treated better than the girls were. Mainly because of the male bonding that goes on in the porn industry. The producers were always males. Everyone on the set where males except for the makeup artist and one female performer. The porn industry is a male dominated industry.

SL: Were there drugs and alcohol in porn?

RM: O.K., I was a dealer to the porn industry! I sold ounces of coke to producers for $800.00 and got em’ for $450.00… I wouldn’t sell anything less to the guy that signed my whopping $150.00 check. Never failed either, cuz I had the best in the valley coming from the Italians in the west valley. Women always smelled like alcohol. I grew up around that God awful smell on my father’s breath, so I knew it well. I had more women coming to meet me for coke at my spot on Roscoe and Fallbrook. I had one customer that was an editor for AVN. He would take a cab all over L.A.. He would come from Glendale to my spot in a cab every week for an ounce of weed that I only paid $200.00 and charged him $450.00. I paid my rent with drugs and made more money than I ever did in a porno. I had as many as 12 people a day buying drugs from me. I rode my bicycle to keep the traffic low and met everyone at the same spot 3 times a day. It worked flawlessly and destroyed a-lot of lives.

SL: Describe any abuse you saw going on during a porn production.

RM: I watched a girl get slapped by her boyfriend hard enough to break her jaw. It made me want to rip his head off. Once I was with a girl getting gang banged in her mouth, vaginally, and anally while she vomited all over us. I had feces on my penis and vomit on my face and they still wanted us to keep going at it while she was limp and fainting. The director wanted the money shot or he would have to call us all back for another day. Do it or don’t get paid. That’s the mentality of the porn industry.

SL: Describe any abuse you witnessed among people in the porn industry, off the set.

RM: Porn Star Morgan Lefay. She made me ride with her to Jonathon Morgan’s House. She went inside and came out furious. She snapped and went home and got her gun after she dropped me off. A few weeks later I had a detective knocking on my door asking me what happened. I had no idea she had shot at him. The detective said Jonathon had gun powder burns on his face. Also a drug influenced situation.

SL: What is your experience with STDS?

RM: By the grace of God I never got any diseases, luckily.

SL: Describe the porn set. Was it a safe and healthful workplace?

RM: When I was in the industry, the fear of bodily fluids (semen, blood, urine, feces, saliva) was absolutely disregarded. It was as though everyone was completely comfortable with the fact that someone else's fluids were on each other. These fluids were on the floor, on the furniture and even on the rags and towels that were thrown to us to use to clean ourselves up during and after a scene. There is no protection or hygiene at all. We weren’t allowed to use condoms. The constant spreading of germs and disease ridden materials is not even considered by the employees of the production companies. The other ways that these fluids are spread around on the set are from toys and the distribution of them to the workers. They are thrown into boxes and given a once over with a rag containing rubbing alcohol and not thoroughly sanitized and or sterilized. That is unsanitary and completely unsafe.

SL: Were you afraid you would catch STDS or HIV?

RM: No way. I was so high and convinced that the testing offices were really legit and would keep me safe. Didn’t realize it until after I was tested that it only took one scene to get something bad, or anything at all. We never were required to use condoms. I still had 29 more days to spread what I didn’t know I might have throughout the industry. As well as with whomever I could initiate into the business like Nina Cherry. She left the adult-film business in 1997 amid reports that she had tested positive for HIV, although she denied it and produced test reports showing that she had tested negative. That scared the hell out of me because I was with her first, before she was in porn. There were also times when girls would come from France and they didn’t speak any English. I was always weary about them bringing diseases over here. Porn star Liza Harper and her manager Cristophe were close friends for a while. When he told me that they were filming in Europe, I asked him if they do testing over there for STD’s. He replied with, “No”. I never worked with them again.

SL: Do porn stars also work as prostitutes on the side?

RM: Ya’ gotta be stupid not too. I sure did. I was living in Palm Springs and answered an ad in the local paper for males wanted for an escort service. They loved me the minute I walked in the door. I drove to Santa Monica to a hotel off the 405 all the way from Palm Springs for this lady a few times. She was beautiful and paid me better than any shoot ever could have. I couldn’t say no, I was only 27. I was sinning left and right. I was so far from salvation at this time in my life.

SL: How did you get out of porn?

RM: I got busted when I was 27 and spent 9 days in L.A. County Jail. When I got out of jail, my mom and dad took me in. I went to their house in Palm Springs and before I realized it, I was out of porn and into the escort business. First as a driver, then I was an escort for women only. I couldn’t escape. After months of severe meth usage, I quit cold turkey and went to Phoenix, Arizona. I enrolled at Universal Technical Institute and graduated with an associate’s degree in automotive Technology.

SL: How are you treated now that you are out of porn?

RM: No one cares. They’re all gone. All the people that said keep in touch are either dead or still tweakin’. I can’t wait to see who pop’s up after this interview. In the past 10 years I have been honest with the women I have dated and told them that I was in porn. They always held my past against me. Whether they said it or kept it to themselves, I hated that. I could see it in the eyes. I just want to be loved and have a normal relationship. After all, I never had a chance to have one because I got into porn so early in my life. I hated it and that’s why I came to The Pink Cross! To find where to begin a new life and recognize a new found salvation.

SL: What were the consequences and negative effects from being in porn?

RM: I lost my respect for women. I grew up among a house full of women. I have 4 sisters and 3 brothers and every one of them are supporting me with speaking out against the porn industry. My own mother supports my decision to fight this industry. I had to find Jesus in myself in order to regain trust in women. It has been a struggle all of my life to try and have a stable healthy relationship. I’m over it. All I need is God.

SL: How has God helped you recover from porn?

RM: I was living on a peach farm in Lancaster and had no food, heat, or love. I was going to kill myself because I couldn’t get the thoughts of the porno’s I did out of my head. So I stuck a gun in myself ready to kill myself when suddenly I heard God tell me to take the gun out of my mouth. I tried to pull the trigger and before you know it, it went off but nothing happened. He then led me over to porn star Sindee Coxx’s and I handed the gun to her camera man and husband Barry. (They used their ranch as a porn set) I wanted to die right there. I could feel the weakness in my legs and I knew that Satan had just exited my body. Then “IT” started. All the signs from God just started to pour into my soul. I disregarded him and went back into the deepest darkest state of confusion and pain accompanied by Satan’s custom built depression plan. I snapped out of it in 2006 when my ex-girlfriend found a picture of a box cover with Randi Storm in my pic’s folder. After two months of having nightmares, I moved out and went to church and I haven’t stopped since. I am a Christian and a Champion now.

SL: What message would you give to other male porn stars?

RM: The 3 G’s
Get Out, Get Checked, Get Help from The Pink Cross

SL: What message would you give to men viewing porn?

RM: STOP. These women are someone’s daughter.

SL: How did you meet Shelley?

RM: I met Shelley in 2006 while looking for people to add on my friends list at I called her at 4am and she actually took my call, got out of bed and talked me out of doing anything stupid again. She immediately gave me love, and asked me for my address. I had no idea why. All I knew is that I was crying on the phone to a woman I didn’t know but respected because of the cause she stands for, fighting pornography. I immediately jumped on board as a Pink Cross Team Member. Our first meeting in person was awesome. Shelley and Mel met me at the Adultcon L.A. show in 2009. It’s odd, but we had each other laughing in minutes. They showed me love by praying with me before we went into the convention. Then we stormed the building like the F.B.I.. I was nervous like never before. More nervous than any porn I was in. I had the best team imaginable walking side by side with me into the convention. I felt untouchable! I felt the presence of God around me again and this time he was planning on staying with me forever.

SL: What is your mission now?

RM: To get my video’s pulled off the internet. To clear my past by helping people that suffer from porn addiction and being in porn. To worship my Lord and Savior with the Pink Cross Team with my close and loving friend Shelley Lubben and her awesome husband Garrett. I appreciate all of the help I have received from the wonderful team at the Pink Cross and I look forward to a violent fight against the Underworld Pornography Ring. For I come in the name of Jesus Christ and I come to fight for my Lord God with his Word. I live now to fight for the children of God. I live now to fight the fight together with you Shelley as a sister in Christ. I will no longer sit by the sidelines and listen to the enemy try to tear my sister down. I will bear the cross until the day I die and IF I DIE FIGHTING THIS INDUSTRY, The world will know Ryan Lee Millay lived his last days for Jesus and keeping honor amongst men, not sin.
I love that when I came to Shelley at 4am, she was there! Everyone else was tweakin’.
You are a light unto him Shelley and I love you dearly, You are now, a woman of God and he holds you every morning.
Your Brother In Christ,
Ryan Lee Millay (aka) Trent Roe, Ex Porn Star
Comments  [ 0 ]
Posted by massagesex  [ 16:08 ]
Ex Porn Star Corina Taylor Story

Former porn star Victoria speaks out on her career in porn and the permanent damage it has caused her. Victoria was active in the porn industry from 2003-2004 and did about 60 hardcore films. She is now on a mission to speak out about the harms of pornography.

SL: How were you first introduced to the sex industry?

V: Through a girlfriend I had hardsexporn who stripped.

SL: What did you think the sex industry could offer you?

V: Glamour and a sense of purpose with men. I wanted attention like my girlfriends received in high school. I was looked over for most of the part. I wasn’t the homecoming queen.

SL: Tell us about your first experience with the porn world.

V: I won a contest in a Hustler magazine that I entered almost as a joke and suddenly I was off to LA. Someone who worked with Hustler set me up with Derrick Hey with LA Direct Models and I moved into his house along with other porn stars. His house was so full that he moved one of the girls into a closet. Every porn star had to pay $700 a month to stay with him.

SL: Did you feel pressured by pornographers to do sex acts you wouldn’t have done before porn?

V: Yes. I swore I would never do anal and or interracial porn. I am not a racist but I don't sleep with black men in my personal life and I don't do anal. Just stomach turning...

SL: Which sex acts were you coerced into doing?

V: I finally broken down after being pressured and did anal and a scene with a black guy.

SL: Who was your agent? Were you pressured to do sex acts you didn’t agree to?

V: Derrick Hey with LA Direct Models was my agent and he pressured me to do anal. He even booked me to do an anal with him so I packed up my bags and left his house.

SL: What was your worst experience in porn?

V: When I did a scene for Red Light District, Vince Voyer gave me a ride to the set and he asked me for “road head”. He called me a whore and told me I had to do it. So I did. When I arrived to the set I expected to do a vaginal girl boy scene. But during the scene with male porn star Eric Everhard, he forced himself anally into me and would not stop. I yelled at him to stop and screamed no over and over but he would not stop. The pain became too much and I was in shock and my body went limp. I couldn’t fight him off anymore. After the scene, they wouldn’t give me a ride home. I called a taxi and went to a medical clinic to check me out due to the severe pain I was in. A day later I received a phone call from Vince to keep my mouth shut about the rape. He threatened me that I didn’t know who I was messing with and that his edited footage of what happened would prove me a liar. When I went to Red Light District to get my check, I was only paid for vaginal, not the anal rape. The anal scene was so traumatizing that I hid out for six weeks.

SL: Were you offered drugs and alcohol?

V: I did not do any drugs... I don't use alcohol. I performed sober. I was never around drugs and only around alcohol at parties. I rarely attended those. I didn't do any of it before getting into the industry and I never had a desire to use drugs and alcohol regardless. Thank God. He watched over me in that respect.

SL: Did you feel pressured to change your looks?

V: Yes... incredibly. And it became an obsession to always measure up and now I am lost in myself trying to measure up to who I think I could have been. Very emotionally disturbing actually.

SL: Describe any abuse you saw going on during a porn production.

V: I can only say that a lot of men in that industry don't like women to begin with. I am not saying all of them don't but a lot don't and they could care less about the level of degradation they place on women.

SL: What is your experience with STDs?

V: By the grace of God I didn’t catch an STD... I tested regularly through AIM, however, when a performer I worked with caught an STD, I was given a pill to prevent me from getting sick.
Comments  [ 0 ]
Posted by massagesex  [ 16:07 ]
My time as a porn star left me suicidal -- but now I help others escape this twisted industry

Former sex worker April Garris reveals all to Chrissie Russell
April Garris is a mum. She is bubbly, well-spoken and works as a service technician, fixing warehouse equipment around the area where she lives in California. She is also an ex-porn star who appeared in 20 hardcore films, used crystal meth and was committed to a psychiatric ward after she reached rock bottom and wasn't sure she could go on with the life in which she found herself.

"The whole porn industry is a twisted and destructive lie," says April. "I was completely naïve about it but when the cameras were on I acted like I loved it. I told people about my voracious sexual appetite but the whole time I felt violated, worthless and empty.

"Unless you've been there, no one knows the dark adultpornomovies side of the porn industry. I do and I'm sure if people knew the reality of what goes on, they would think twice before watching or condoning adult movies."

Born in 1971, April grew up in southern California. An only child, her parents divorced when she was five and while her mum remained at home, her dad moved to Missouri where April would see him for two months a year in the summer.

She says: "I was never close to my dad. After I turned 13, I had no further contact with him. My mother was very religious and sex was never discussed at home. I grew up with a really skewed attitude to it and men. When I was 14, my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer. She retreated into herself and I became very lonely and depressed."

Despite battling feelings of isolation, April studied at school and got grades that enabled her to go to college to major in religious studies. While in her junior year and when her mum's illness was in its final throes, April met and married her first real boyfriend and shortly after they had a baby girl.

April says: "I was in financial trouble. As a way of making money fast, I started stripping in bars but hated every minute of it. I was so miserable stripping that part of me thought making movies might be better because at least I would have more control over what I did. But I had no idea about what really goes on in the industry and what I was getting in to."

April signed to an agent and started making graphic sexual movies. Her husband became her manager.

"I hated what I was doing, but after I'd made the first movie, I felt I was already trapped. I felt even if I stopped now, there was already a film out there of me that I had no control over.

"After a day's filming, I just felt relief that it was over, but there was also a weird comfort knowing that I was finally able to make some money.

"I was making between $500 and $1,000 dollars a scene. I finally felt I was contributing to my family but at the same time I felt totally worthless and miserable."

Submerged in the seedy underworld of the sex industry, April started regularly using drugs such as speed, marijuana and crystal meth to try and cope with what she was doing.

"I just wanted to be numb," she says. "What I was doing was physically and emotionally destructive. I just wanted to feel absent."

During six months in 2001, she made 20 films, earning more than $10,000. However, April lived in constant fear of contracting sexually transmitted infections from other performers.

She says: "One day I just felt I couldn't go on. I wasn't well and I was scheduled to film a particularly horrific and degrading scene with two men. I told my husband I couldn't do it. I never made another film."

After walking away from the industry, April became severely depressed and self-harmed so badly that she was hospitalised. A year later, her marriage collapsed.

She says: "I hated myself. My dream had been to be a vet, to marry and raise a family. Instead I was divorced and an ex-porn star. I had no sense of self-worth. I felt suicidal but too afraid to do anything."

In desperation April reached out on the internet and found former porn star Shelly Lubben. Shelly started the Pink Cross Foundation in 2008, a faith-based organisation that offers to help men and women break free of the porn industry.

April explains: "Shelly was amazing. I went from feeling completely alone to realising I could use my experience to help other women. I rediscovered my faith and started counselling women like me as well as trying to raise awareness in the public of the reality behind porn."

Now April is bringing her message to Ireland. She'll be sharing her experience and knowledge at Dublin's Sugar Club where she'll be interviewed by Matt Fradd, who runs The Porn Effect, at, a website geared towards helping sex workers and porn addicts realise the destructive nature of the world they're involved in.

April explains: "There's a perception that it's harmless but I have never met a girl who honestly enjoyed what she did. What people see in a movie is far removed from the pain and degradation than goes into filming."

Now clean from drugs and working as a service technician, April is moving on from her past.

She still worries about what films exist of her in circulation and she's been unable to form a lasting relationship with another man.

She has on-going custody issues with her 12-year-old daughter and still suffers attacks of depression and anxiety, but she is determined to try and make something positive out of the experience.

She says: "There's a huge part of me that is grateful that I'm in this position because I can help other people. I can educate and enlighten people and if I hadn't gone through what I did, I wouldn't be able to do that."
Comments  [ 0 ]
Posted by massagesex  [ 16:06 ]
The Story of Former Porn Star Shelley Lubben

The Story of Shelley Lubben,
Former Porn Star

by Judith Reisman

Pulitzer Prize-winning author Chris Hedges, in Empire of Illusion: The End of Literacy and the Triumph of Spectacle, writes that the “cruelty” of the “new” pornography “takes a toll on the bodies, as well as the emotions, of porn actresses.” But someone is trying to help them:

The Pink Cross booth has a table of anti-porn extremeporn tracts and is set up in the far corner of the Sands Expos Convention Center in Las Vegas. It is an unlikely participant at the annual Adult Video News (AVN) expo. Pink Cross is a Christian outreach program for women in the porno industry, run by ex-porn star Shelley Lubben.

I first watched Shelley Lubben on YouTube in early 2009. An “ex-porn star,” she has created the Pink Cross ( as a public charity to reach out to “adult industry workers, offering emotional, financial and transitional support.” In the YouTube segment, filmed before a church audience, Shelley describes her past life and her current work. A tall, stately woman, she treads the boards, moving her hands to emphasize her words, looking directly and earnestly at her listeners.

As a veteran student of pornography and prostitution, I did not expect to learn anything new from watching Shelley Lubben’s public testimony. I was wrong. Shelley’s description of the sexual violence and degradation of modern pornography was a shock, even to me. It made me think that it made perfect sense to hear that she had left her economically rewarding “star” roles to return to a safer life doing “straight” prostitution. The “glamour” of porn is only a mask:

You have to do what they want on the sets. . . . Girls . . . feel like stars. They get attention. . . . They don’t realize the degradation. . . . Raised on porn, [they] don’t even ask if it’s wrong. . . . They get into drugs to numb themselves. They get their [bodies] ripped. . . . They get HPV and herpes, and they turn themselves off emotionally and die.

Shelley says such women totally lose their identity and live on drugs and alcohol. They cannot plan, save their money, or eat properly. The survivors commonly have only sexual diseases and “fake boobs” to show for their lives in porn. She used to be one of them.

The Back Story

In the autobiography she wrote for her website (, Shelley, born in 1968, notes that she attended “a good church” with her family and that, “as a little girl, I knew and loved Jesus very much.” Unfortunately, her stable if unaffectionate family moved to another location and stopped going to church. Television became the basis of their family life. A creative child, Shelley put on her own plays at her elementary school, with the approval of her amazed first-grade teacher.

Then, at age nine, a classmate and the girl’s teenage brother sexually molested Shelley. With no one to turn to or redress her abuse, Shelley defused her anxiety via autoeroticism and furtive sexual forays with both girls and boys. “It felt good to be wanted by someone and to receive attention, but at the same time I felt dirty. I didn’t recognize until much later that my entire childhood had been sexually hijacked.”

She carried shame and self-blame into her teen years. “It must be something evil in me,” she thought. She “started having sex at age 16” and became a “rebellious resentful teenager who acted out to get attention.” Hoping to keep peace in the home, her parents let Shelley dress up as a Playboy bunny and date strange boys, who led her into drug and alcohol abuse. The family tried counseling to no avail. Unable to understand what to do, her parents “told me to leave home at age 18.”

She landed in the San Fernando valley with no food and no money. “A ‘nice’ man saw I was upset and told me how sorry he was.” Still shocked and angry about being kicked out the house, so “that I didn’t care any more . . . I sold myself for $35.”

Thus Shelley entered the “glamorous” life of prostitution, but the money, jewelry, and gifts soon included bizarre sex with strangers who stalked her, slashed her tires, and threatened to kill her if she demurred from performing certain sex acts. One man tried to kill her with his truck, and she often had to lie her way out of frightening situations. During her eight years as a prostitute and exotic dancer, she had two miscarriages and one birth. Little Tiffany grew up living “with a lewd wild woman.”

Now a single mom, “Jesus kept tugging at my heart,” Shelley writes, “but I ignored him. I figured, God wasn’t taking care of me, so I had to do whatever I could to survive.”

Most of her prostitution money went for drugs and alcohol to blot out the trauma of her life. To avoid the rapes and arrests for prostitution, she turned to pornography because “it seemed safer and more legal.” However, even prostitution did not involve the brutal kinds of rape and degradation that she endured while “starring” in pornography. Soon she was required to do very hardcore scenes.

[O]nly more drugs and alcohol could get me through them. . . . I sold what was left of my heart, mind and femininity to the porn industry and the woman and person in me died completely on the porn set.” After becoming infected with herpes, I quietly left the porn industry but went back to prostitution to survive.

The Rescue

In 1994 Shelley met her husband Garrett at a bar. At first she refused his requests for a date, but when she finally accepted and the two went out, they became instant friends. Garret was raised in a Christian home and had attended a Christian school. He wanted to rescue Shelley. She says, “He was a friend to a prostitute, just like Jesus. We knew God was working in our lives, so we turned back to Jesus and got married on February 14, 1995.”

It was a rough marriage, but Shelley says God sent them to a church called Champions Centre in Tacoma, Washington, where they learned “to live a champion life.”

With God, I had true forgiveness from all my sins and a chance to grow into a whole new person without being perfect first. That was a relief! I learned that God loved me unconditionally, regardless of my past, and even had a plan for my future. God had a plan for my life? It was like someone turned the light on for me.

Shelley says she “practiced God’s principles in everything I did.” She learned web design and operated her own web design business for four years. She also attended college and got a bachelor’s degree in theology and counseling. She had walked into Champions Centre “broken and shattered,” she says. Eight years later, she was a Champion woman healed and excited to live life! God restored me from drugs, alcohol addiction, painful memories, mental illness, sexual addiction, sexual trauma, and the guilt and shame from my past. . . . He also restored my femininity and healed my sexuality, which is a major miracle for me.

Shelley reports herself cured not only of herpes but also of cervical cancer. In addition, she says, “God also healed our marriage in a remarkable way. Garrett and I have a beautiful and loving relationship and are best friends!” Their “three beautiful daughters are being raised as Champions,” and, says Shelley, her daughter Tiffany has forgiven her and “allows me to be a mother to her.”

The Ministry

As a child, Shelley had dreamed of being a preacher. Having received her bachelor’s of theology degree, she is indeed a preacher now, sharing her testimony of transformation and rescue out of drugs, porn, and prostitution “by the power of Jesus Christ.” Her website says:

Now happily married to Garrett, her husband, and the mother of three daughters, Shelley takes a message of transformation against-all-odds to prisons, TV, radio, film, conferences and rescue missions. She has been a guest on talk shows such as Dr. Phil, Michael Reagan and most recently, FOXNews. Her message is one of exposing the $57 billion porn industry for what it is—full of lies and deceit, addiction and broken lives. Shelley maintains that women who turn to the industry to make money “probably didn’t grow up in healthy childhoods.

“Almost all pornography performers were sexually assaulted as children,” she says, but hide their broken hearts. “That would kill the fantasy, now wouldn’t it?” She told Chris Hedges:

Porn is like any other addiction. . . . First, you are curious. Then you need harder and harder drugs to get off. You need gang bangs and bestiality and child porn. Porn gets grosser and grosser. . . . And meanwhile the addicts make their wives feel like they can’t live up to the illusion of the porn star. . . . He wants what isn’t real. Porn destroys intimacy.

She says, “God now sends me out to proclaim to the world the reality of his awesome love. I also want everyone to know that whatever God did for me, he will do for you. He’ll do this because he loves you and sent his Son Jesus in order to give you a whole new life.”

Shelley tells the women she rescues that God has a plan for their lives and that they “were made for greater things.” Her website offers the real stories of these women, and includes a tragic Dead Porn Stars Memorial.

Shelley’s story is indeed inspirational. “All I wanted was a normal life. Then I discovered the truth. Sure enough, I finally found the life I always wanted.”
Comments  [ 0 ]
Posted by massagesex  [ 16:06 ]
Former Porn Star Alexa Milano Story

I was a stripper, model and porn star from 1995-2006. I am formerly known as Alexa Milano.

I was naïve when I first started stripping. A friend of mine suggested I try out on “audition” night at a local strip club and of course my heart was saying, “No, I can’t do this!” But I saw girls dancing and men literally throwing money at them on the stage!!! But I still couldn’t do it.

I kept thinking about the INSTANT CASH foryouporn and that I’d be able to pay my bills, buy food, whatever! So, I showed up and there I was standing on the stage, almost naked in front of probably 200 guys hooting and hollering and THROWING MONEY at me!!!

I was scared to death but had seen all the money! I finished my song...a few others took their turn and next thing I know they announced the winner and it was.....ME!!! The attention from men and the money were too good to pass up. But time would prove me wrong and I began to feel dirty and used by men.

I already had a past history of abuse by men, including my alcoholic father who beat my mother daily and then shot himself in the head in front of me when I was nine years old. My mother never allowed us to speak of it. So I never received healing or understood what love meant. I only knew the abuse I saw growing up. Stripping offered me the attention and love I desperately craved and because I was naïve I swallowed the lie.

One night while I was working, I was approached by a well known porn star who feature danced at the club I was stripping at. She told me how great the money in porn was and that I would be safe in the porn industry. She made it sound so glamorous. Next thing you know I’m off to Los Angeles to become a porn star.

I did a few porn movies but it was so traumatizing that I eventually went back to stripping. I couldn’t handle the pain and trauma of making porn. The sex acts were extremely painful and degrading.

My first movie I was treated very rough by 3 guys. They pounded on me, gagged me with their penises, and tossed me around like I was a ball! I was sore, hurting and could barely walk. My insides burned and hurt so badly. I could barely pee and to try to have a bowel movement was out of the question. I was hurting so bad from the physical abuse from these 3 male porn stars! I swore I’d never do porn again but here I was being flown back to Los Angeles again only this time for a very well known porn company.

I ended up doing a few scenes for this new kind of DVD that was new to the industry where, when we did scenes, the porn star guys face would never be shown....only the girls. These DVD's were the kind where when a fan would buy it, they could pick and choose what kind of scene they wanted to view such as blow jobs, Mish, anal, girl/girl, etc. It was a horrible experience and I just wanted out of there!

There was always alcohol and drugs readily available on the sets. Whatever you wanted, they would or could get it. In fact, the set I worked on for two videos, the stars had their own "doctor" with them! I would see the doctor giving out pills or giving B12 injections (or so they told me it was B12!) I never got involved with any major drugs, I only smoked marijuana and drank Vodka.

As I began to hate porn more and more I remember one porn set where a director really frightened me when she pulled down her pants to show off her Herpes. That did it for me.

I returned to stripping and suddenly my life came crashing down around me when I was involved in a serious car accident with my alcoholic/drug addict boyfriend in 2006. It was the wakeup call I needed and it changed my life forever.

The next thing I knew was I woke up in the hospital with a ruptured bladder, lacerated spleen, kidney & liver, broken ribs, dislocated shoulder, soft tissue damage in my left shoulder and a laceration of my upper right arm. I had a shattered femur and now have a titanium rod.

Since 2006, I have been in recovery from the accident and unable to work. I have carpal tunnel in both hands from using a walker for a few months and I had to have surgeries on both elbows. I also have arthritis in my hip and elbows where the screws are.

Somehow I managed to survive that accident, but I was in the trauma unit for 2 weeks. I did physical therapy, but never received therapy for my mental or emotional feelings. I tried a psychologist and he made me feel worse by giving me psych meds. I hated him and the meds, plus I didn’t have insurance and could not afford his fees.

I received a small settlement from the accident for which I lived on for the past 3 years. It is gone. I am with nothing and cannot work due to my filing of an SSI claim. I can’t get regular disability because I didn’t pay into social security enough money to cover me, so I had to file for SSI.

Right now I owe 4 months back rent as well as ALL my other bills. I'm very depressed and feeling worthless at this very minute. It’s hard for me to even type.

All this for walking into an industry I thought was glamorous. The drugs, the alcohol, the drunk I met in the strip club who I trusted to drive me home that night. No, the sex industry is not glamorous. Hanging out with drug addicted alcoholic sexually diseased people who abuse and hate is not glamorous.

I have a hard time making and keeping friends. Everyone thinks of me as a stripper/porn star. I am virtually a recluse in my home. When I go out, I do not look at people, and I prefer to keep to myself. I just feel very dirty and used from my past in the exotic entertainment business.

I try to get close to God because when I was younger my mother took me to church and instilled good Christian values in me. I have ALWAYS been a Christian and known that God must have been watching over me. I should be dead by now but I have to believe I’m here for a reason.
I really want to go back to the Baptist church where I was baptized but I am afraid they will judge me for my past.

That’s when I was flipping through the channels one day and saw the "MTV True Life" episode with Shelley and Pink Cross Foundation on there and was so excited that there is a group that we, as ex porn stars can go to and find hope and prayer! Amen!!! The Pink Cross site is totally awesome and I am so darn proud of Shelley for making such a wonderful place for us to go to for encouragement and prayers. The site is big and I actually haven't been able to check it all out, but I will!! From what I've seen and read, it is absolutely remarkable!!! I signed up for the newsletter and I also am going to get help in the forums.

I am so grateful for the help Pink Cross offers and already I feel there really is hope for me and as Shelley keeps telling me, “God has a special purpose for me.” I really want to believe that. I hope my story is part of that special purpose and helps many who are thinking of getting into the sex industry or who are addicted to pornography. I want them to know the truth so they don’t have to suffer like many of us have.

Porn is not glamorous. It hurts people. It almost killed me. But praise be to Jesus Christ I am still here to tell my story.

Thank you to all of you who support Pink Cross and help women like me. I sincerely thank you for giving me hope again!
Blessings through God!

AKA Alexa Milano/former porn star
Comments  [ 0 ]
    [ 1 ]    

Latest Articles

Shemale Clips | Porn | Big Sex List | Tubuz Porn Tube | Free Adult Blog Host